Supporting employee whose child has cancer

• The reality of working when your child has cancer
• Why you should support them
• What legal rights does my employee have?
• How can I support an employee when their child is diagnosed?
• How can I support an employee whose child is having treatment?
• How do I help an employee returning to the workplace after time off?
• What if my employee’s child has died, or has been told they are going to die?
• Real experiences of parents
• Resources and more support

The reality of working when your child has cancer

Children are treated in specialist hospitals across the UK. This means that, on average, parents are burdened with an average round-trip of 60 miles to get to and from hospital. Those who are lucky might be offered a place to stay near the hospital to save travel and money. But this means families are often divided with one parent ‘holding the fort’ at home while the other remains with the child having treatment. For single parent families, it’s an insufferably hard situation.

The emotional impact should also not be underestimated. Stress, isolation, depression and anxiety come with the territory. They are also up against a huge financial burden that comes with the cost of travelling, or a reduced income if one parent has to give up work.

Any parent working in your organisation will need you to step up and be the best employer you can be. They will need three things from you:

1 – An attempt to understand what they are going through
2 – A commitment to uphold their rights
3 – A willingness to create a supportive work environment.

Why you should support them

Employees with caring responsibilities have rights and you have a responsibility to uphold them.

But don’t view this as an obligation. More and more workplaces understand that supporting their staff’s wellbeing will have a positive impact on the organisation. It will help people to feel more engaged and motivated. You will retain skills, knowledge, experience and talent (plus you avoid the costly recruitment process). It will increase morale and productivity. And lastly, implementing good practices can boost your reputation both internally and externally – you can feel proud and shout about how you’re helping people to thrive.

Plus, if you create an atmosphere where your employee is more likely to open up to you, this means you can plan ahead and minimise disruption.

What legal rights does my employee have?

1 | Time off in emergencies

Employees have the right to unpaid time off work to deal with emergencies involving a dependent – a family member or someone who depends on your employee’s care. An emergency means an unexpected or sudden crisis. Anything known about in advance, like appointments, do not qualify.

Some employers choose to offer paid time off in emergencies but this should be set out in your policies. There is no set time for how long someone can take, as it depends on the situation. There are also no limits on how frequently this can happen.

If your employee needs to take time off in an emergency, they are not required to give you proof or anything in writing. You, as their employer, should not refuse reasonable time off, dismiss an employee or treat an employee unfairly on this basis.

Read more at gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

2 | Parental leave

All parents are entitled to 18 weeks of parental leave if they have worked for the organisation for a year. This is normally unpaid, unless you agree otherwise, and is available for each child up to their 18th birthday. Parents generally take a maximum of four weeks in any one year. Usually, this must be taken in weekly blocks but children with cancer are legally defined as disabled which means that you should allow your employee to take individual days too.

Make sure you let your employee know what you offer if it’s more than the legal minimum. You may also want to consider arranging extra leave – you don’t have to pay the employee, but it may be that you do as part of their contract.

3 | Statutory Sick Pay

If an employee is struggling to work due to stress, anxiety or illness, they are entitled to Statutory Sick Pay (SSP). This should be paid for up to 28 weeks as long as the employee meets certain criteria. Agency workers are entitled to SSP and there are different rules for agricultural workers.

Read more at gov.uk/statutory-sick-pay

4 | Flexible working

Although anyone can ask, employees who have worked for an organisation for 26 weeks have a statutory right to ask for flexible working. Furthermore, parents who have a child with cancer under 18 have a legal right to ask you to negotiate a working pattern that helps them care for their child.

Options could involve working from home, job sharing, working flexi or compressed hours. You don’t have to agree to their request, but you do have to consider it in a ‘reasonable manner’. Remember that this could make all the difference to your employee feeling that they can manage their work and home life.

Learn more about flexible working at gov.uk or read the Acas Code of Practice on handling in a reasonable manner requests to work flexibly

5 | Protection from discrimination

Parents and carers of children with cancer are protected from discrimination or harassment because of their caring responsibilities under the Equality Act 2010. Discrimination at work could be making someone redundant because of their caring responsibilities, or unfairly rejecting a flexible working request. You are also responsible for discrimination carried out by other employees unless you can show you’ve made reasonable efforts to prevent it. This includes self-employed people on a contract for you.

Read more about discrimination at gov.uk/employer-preventing-discrimination

How can I support an employee when their child has been diagnosed?

Be there for them

Keep in regular contact and let them know that you are ready to support them. This might mean giving them compassionate leave in the first instance while they wrap their head around their child’s condition, prognosis and treatment plan. Once they have a better idea of what’s ahead, you can explore options with them for taking time off or supporting them to continue working.

Have an honest conversation

Many parents will feel huge levels of stress as they try to figure out how and if they can continue to work and care for their child through treatment. They will worry about the financial implications of taking time off and whether they can afford to take unpaid leave. They will have concerns about their job security and, if they do continue to work, whether they can give their poorly child the care, time and attention they’ll need.

Starting an honest and compassionate dialogue will encourage your employee to be open with you in return, allowing you to plan ahead. It’s your responsibility to make sure they understand the options with regard to leave and working arrangements, so think about what you’re willing to offer.

Let your employee know what other support is there for them

Explain to your employee that they can bring someone along to any meetings you have – whether that’s another colleague, Trade Union representative, a member of a staff forum or a friend. You should make them aware of your occupational health support or employee assistance programme, if you have one, so they can access independent support and advice.

Be flexible

Being flexible with taking leave will let your employee manage unexpected situations or if they need to take a longer period of time than they thought. Ideally, they should try to let you know roughly how long you will be away if they can, but be aware that this might be difficult as much will depend on how their child responds to treatment. Can you accommodate reduced hours or flexible working? If they do need to take a significant amount of time off, can you offer them a sabbatical or an open invitation to return?

How can I support an employee whose child is having treatment?

“Working while caring helped with my mental health, stopped me becoming over focused on the small stuff and helped to ensure I felt connected. Sometimes you don’t need to be off work for long periods as long as you have the flexibility to drop everything and run when needed. I didn’t feel pressured to return to work full-time, but was grateful the choice was mine. Being forced into taking time off would have made me feel powerless and isolated.”

Stay in touch

Many parents feel that their employer is supportive at the start of their child’s treatment but that this diminishes as time goes by. It’s important that your employee remains feeling connected, valued and part of the team – especially if they are taking time off. Keep an open conversation going in way that’s right for them, whether that’s home visits, phone calls or coming into the workplace.

Keep being flexible

Some parents want the choice to continue working as it gives them a positive focus. However, those who do will likely need to have assurance that they will be supported to attend appointments or take time off at short notice. You could also consider a reduction in hours and flexible or remote working.

“Working while caring helped with my mental health, stopped me becoming over focused on the small stuff and helped to ensure I felt connected. Sometimes you don’t need to be off work for long periods as long as you have the flexibility to drop everything and run when needed. I didn’t feel pressured to return to work full-time, but was grateful the choice was mine. Being forced into taking time off would have made me feel powerless and isolated.”

Ask what you can do that would make a difference

Small changes could make all the difference and your employee may have a good idea of what could help them. It might be as simple as allowing them to have their mobile on the desk so they can take emergency calls, or flexible starting and finishing times. Problems arise when employees feel unable to communicate their needs so it’s good to take the initiative.

How do I help an employee returning to the workplace after time off?

3 out of 5 parents we spoke to said they came back to work before they were ready, over half due to financial necessity. However, you can still support this transition. You could explore whether a phased return or starting back on part-time hours would be helpful.

Many will be reassured to hear that they will be supported to take time off for ongoing treatment, follow up appointments, scans and rehabilitation.

Getting a clear picture of what they need to feel comfortable after they return will help you to best support them. This includes being supportive of how and whether they choose to communicate their situation with colleagues.

“I’m back in work now and have had a phased return and now back up to full time hours. They have been very accommodating with shifts and time off for chemotherapy appointments. I am very lucky to work with such fantastic people”

What if my employee’s child has died, or has been told they are going to die?

If your employee has been told their child’s cancer is terminal, you will need to explore with your employee whether or not they feel able to work during this time. It goes without saying that they will need you to act with kindness and empathy. Have a conversation about what you can offer to support them, whether a change to their working pattern or compassionate leave.

If an employee’s child dies under the age of 18, from 6 April 2020, they will be entitled to 2 weeks’ leave. Read more about this at gov.uk/government/news/uk-set-to-introduce-jacks-law-new-legal-right-to-paid-parental-bereavement-leave

You should take some time to read our Grieving at work advice for parents to get a better sense of what your employee will need and for links to more helpful resources.

Real experiences of parents

Here are a variety of experiences from parents about how their work did – or didn’t – support them and the difference it made.

Displays of support

“My husband’s company instantly gave him 12 weeks leave on full pay they also sent us a massive pile of ‘cook’ vouchers so we could get good ready meals as it was just before. Christmas. We have also had brownies delivered to the house when we’ve been in longer neutropenic phases. They have donated toys to our daughter’s hospital and staff have run local 10k to raise money for the hospital appeal. Basically they are ace.”

“My work was brilliant, I wasn’t entitled to any sick pay but my boss gave me 5 weeks full pay, they also did a collection for us and bought my son and my 2 other children a massive hamper of treats as it was Christmas. I also handed my notice in which she wouldn’t accept and I’m thankful she didn’t as I went back to work 6 months later.”

“My work family have climbed mountains, shaved heads, sent many cards and messages of love and support. My son has had many gifts/football shirts/vouchers. I’ve had lots of gifts /flowers, cards and constant messages.”

Understanding management

“I thankfully had an amazing manager who did all she could to make it as easy and hassle free for me to be able to be there for my son.”

“As we weren’t in [hospital] for huge blocks of time, we wanted to keep life as normal as we could and I enjoyed the headspace to think about other things. My faculty and deputy head were amazingly supportive, checked in with me regularly when I was off and looked at the timetable to ensure my colleague could take my exam classes so there was little impact on the pupils doing exam qualifications. I have never been told I can’t take him for appointments, and I really cannot praise my work enough for how they have supported me.”

Being flexible

“As a single mother of a daughter with cancer work have helped me so much. One of the things they do is let me put hols in or give me a special leave if I’m having a bad day, mentally or anything arises at short notice to do with my daughter.”

“My work and my husbands have been very supportive. Initially allowing me to work flexibly and remotely. It has recently meant a change in role (to a less senior position) as after 3 years and no end in sight it was an unsustainable situation for them. This has been really hard for me to accept but I know I was putting too much pressure on myself and know that it is better for us right now. My husband’s employer also allowed him to reduce his hours which has enabled us to both continue to work and to share care for our daughter. It doesn’t work for everyone but for both of us we value the break that we get by going to work and are sure that for us, it has helped us to cope mentally by giving us an outlet to focus on something else. It is very very hard though and without continuous support and flexibility it would be impossible. I still don’t know if it will be practical or sustainable to continue but while I feel that we all benefit I will try.”

“My employer was pretty amazing but I appreciate my circumstances were a little easier to be flexible with. I was only working part time anyway and my job doesn’t require me to be in on certain days so my employer allowed me to drop some hours and move some days around. I was also told to take off “as much time as I needed” on full pay (I only took 3 weeks as I was desperate to get back to some normality) since my daughters diagnosis 4 years ago, I’ve been able to swap days at a moment’s notice, take days off at a moment’s notice (sometimes taken as annual leave, sometimes I’ve just been given the day off) and have been fully supported throughout.”

Could do better

“2 weeks sick pay. Unpaid compassionate/parental leave. Then went part time for a year. Colleagues were understanding but without family help we’d have been stuffed. Flexitime now used for appointments.”

“My work was adequate, they gave me company sick pay for 2 weeks, then I went on to SSP (statutory sick pay). However, at no point did they send a card saying get well soon etc. to my son, or a thinking of you type card. They did nothing other than the very minimum required by law. I was called in for meetings about when I would be back, and given cloak and dagger threats of losing my job if I didn’t come back soon. I called my union in several times as work where just adding to my stress.”

Further support and resources

If your employee needs more support, they can speak to their CLIC Sargent Social Worker or contact CLIC Sargent’s Welfare Advice Service on 0800 915 4439 or welfareadvice@younglivesvscancer.org.uk