5 things to say when someone is going through a difficult time

You might worry about saying the wrong thing, not knowing how to help, or whether it’s better to give someone space. But often, it’s not about having the perfect words. It’s about letting someone know they’re not facing things alone.

Drawing on the experience of Rachel, a Young Lives vs Cancer Specialist Social Worker, here are five simple things to say when someone is going through a difficult time

1. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”

Many people feel pressure to find the perfect thing to say. The truth is, there usually isn’t one.

Being honest can mean more than trying to find a silver lining or make everything better. Sometimes simply acknowledging that you don’t have the answers, while letting someone know you’re there for them, is enough. Short, genuine messages can have a big impact.

2. “Want some company, or would you rather have some space?”

When someone’s dealing with a lot, questions like “Let me know what you need” can feel overwhelming.

Instead, offering a simple choice can make it easier for them to answer. They might want company today, or they might need some time to themselves.

If the answer is “not today”, try not to take it personally. Support isn’t a one-time offer. There’s always another opportunity to check in.

3. “Do you want to talk about it, or absolutely anything else?”

Some days, a person may want to talk about what they’re going through.

Other days, they might want a break from it.

Giving someone permission to choose can be incredibly valuable. Whether it’s a serious conversation or a chat about television, sport, work or everyday life, letting them decide helps them stay connected to a sense of normality.

4. “I’m going to the shops. What can I bring you?”

Offers of help are kind, but they can sometimes be too broad.

Specific offers are often easier to accept. Picking up shopping, bringing dinner, offering a lift, or walking a dog may seem like small gestures, but practical support can make a real difference when someone is carrying a heavy load.

5. “No need to reply. Just thinking of you.”

Support doesn’t always need to be a long conversation.

A quick text can remind someone they’re not forgotten, without putting any pressure on them to respond.

And if you don’t hear back, don’t assume they don’t want to hear from you. Difficult times rarely follow a timetable. Keep checking in when you can.

When cancer shows up, so do we

Our Specialist Social Workers provide practical and emotional support to young people with cancer and their families when they need it most. Every conversation, every check-in, and every moment of support can help someone feel less alone.

And sometimes, showing up starts with just a few simple words.

Read Shôn’s story, where he shares how Rachel supported him and his family when he was going through cancer.