Paarus’s Story: “It made us realise what is important”

Paarus was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in October 2023 at 13 years old. He was in Year 9 at the time so had to stop going to school and seeing his friends to start treatment in hospital at the Royal Marsden.

As well as turning his own life upside down, it also had a huge impact on the whole family including his two younger siblings. His younger brother had just started Year 7 in Secondary school when all of a sudden his Dad was staying away from home at the hospital with his brother and his mum was back and forth from home too.

Their Young Lives vs Cancer Specialist Social Worker Mel was a huge support to all of the family as well as arranging trips and days out to give the family time together she also supported them to access benefits to help with the financial impact of cancer too.

“Paarus is the oldest of our three children, he’s now 15, he was 13 at the time of diagnosis. He’s such a chilled, happy, resilient child, he always has been, he’s got a positive mental attitude and just gets on with life and goes for it. He’s quite witty, he’s got a lovely sense of humour, he’s kind, considerate and very compassionate as well. He’s a lovely human being.”

Paarus started to feel unwell in September 2023 and after various tests and doctors visits, was diagnosed with lymphoma in October.

“Last summer he said ‘there’s a lump on my neck’, nothing alarming – I said ‘we’ll just keep an eye on it and we’ll see’ and September came and it had grown a little bit more so I booked in with the GP and he was like ‘maybe it’s an infection, get him some antibiotics and we’ll put you through for some bloods’.

“One Sunday night we were having dinner together and I looked at Paarus and said ‘oh my goodness’ the lump on the neck had just grown so much. I rang the GP and they sent me for a walk-in appointment that night. I took him to the walk-in, I said ‘it’s grown’, he said the blood test has come back fine. I said ‘we’re waiting for a scan’ and he said the scan has been cancelled because there’s not enough medical evidence. He checked the system and put another date in for us,- 3 weeks away –  he said first thing in the morning give them a ring and see what they can do to bring the date earlier.

“Friday afternoon I took him in and during the scan the sonographer was looking and said ‘I can’t work out what’s going on’ and called the head of the department to come and have a look and he said ‘something’s not right here, this isn’t going to go away without some antibiotics’. We went to a&e and there was a lovely triage nurse who saw us and she said ‘I’m not comfortable giving you antibiotics, something sinister is going on here’.”

Paarus was kept in hospital for ten days, away from home. On day nine they decided to do a biopsy and Paarus was able to go home. A few days later, his mum got a phone call to say the results were back and that he had cancer and would need to go to the Royal Marsden.

“It was just all a blur after that. How your world just changes just hearing those words.

“We sat Paarus down that Sunday evening and we said ‘They’ve found something in the bloods they’d like to test further and we’re going to a hospital called Royal Marsden but we’ll be with you’. My parents were here on standby and we took Paarus. As soon as he got there I remember he said ‘Mummy this is a cancer hospital, I haven’t got cancer’.”

Paarus went on to have chemotherapy treatment at Royal Marsden Hospital.

“They do this day in day out so they have their processes in place which is brilliant. They said it’s non-Hodgkin lymphoma, the words came out of his mouth that it’s curable and that it’s one of the ‘better’ cancers. There was still that disbelief. The fact we got the phone call Saturday and were in by the Monday meeting his consultant and by Tuesday his scans/MRIs were all done and then admitted on the Wednesday when he had his Hickman line fitted.

“The ball started rolling with appointments and schedules and this and that. We had three modules, in for two weeks or a week at a time and then home – but you manage neutropenia in between and additional stays at the local hospital St Peters because of the neutropenia and other awful side effects.”

From diagnosis, Paarus and his family were supported by Mel, a Young Lives vs Cancer Specialist Social Worker.

“Paarus was in for his first chemo and our Young Lives vs Cancer social worker Mel popped her head around the curtain and said ‘We have a pamper spa going on for the parents’, but we were a mess and settling in with Paarus so I never managed to go along to it.  She said ‘I’ll pop back again when it’s more convenient’ and she did and we had a meeting and she explained what they do and what they’re about. Mel opened our eyes to the Carer Allowance that’s allowed for us and the paperwork involved. We didn’t have a clue so she really opened up our eyes to that world and helped us get the paperwork sorted. Paarus got to know who Mel was and we invited her for the bell ringing, she just had a lovely air of calm about her. She just had a calm nature and Paarus really liked her as well.

“Paarus’ words were ‘Every holiday we’d end up in hospital’ whether it was Christmas, Easter, half terms. The first half term after he finished his chemo and he said ‘finally a half term we haven’t gone in (to hospital)’ and then his central line had to be taken out ,so back in, so he was gutted. After that he said ‘I’m ready to go back in (to school) full time’. He went back in and he started thriving. He actually did his exams and smashed them.”